Why is the first day of school so hard?

Most children going to a school for the first time experience some degree of what experts call separation anxiety. Suddenly, the idea of being cut off from one's mother (or father, or both) and left among strange people in alien surroundings, if only for a few hours, can fill a child with emotions that are close to panic.

Children sometimes respond by reverting to infantile behaviour. A five-year-old may act like a toddler, crying for Mom or Dad to stay. Fortunately, most children are rather quick to adapt and such desperate behaviour does not usually last long.

Some psychologists suggest that parents take a child to visit the teacher and classroom in advance as a way of reducing a child's anxieties. As a rule, the calmer the parents are, the calmer their children will be. However, remoteness will not reassure a child. Rather, the parent should matter-of-factly try to convey the idea that child, teacher, and parent will be able to work out any problems together.

When the time comes for a parent to leave a child at school, a clear good-bye is important. If the parent tries to sneak out, the child may feel his or her trust has been betrayed and become even more upset at the parent's sudden disappearance.

If a child seems apprehensive about school, it may be helpful to bring a favourite toy from home. One teacher had her kindergarteners create a family photo album during their first week of school. For many of them, it was comforting to turn to their albums when they felt anxious about being away from home. Treasured reminders can often comfort children whose longing for home may interfere with their enjoyment of the new experience of school.

Can your job affect your personality?

Most people's self-esteem is closely tied to their work. When people meet for the first time, the first questions almost involve jobs, and the answers tend to spark interest or deaden it. Many of us tend to stereotype people by the kind of work they do. Considering that a job takes about half of a working adult's waking life, it is not surprising that psychologists see work as a significant influence on a person's outlook and behaviour.

One 10-year study found that people who have to think and use their judgment to perform complicated tasks at work tend to develop and intellectual flexibility that they carry over into the other parts of their lives. They seem to be generally more independent-minded and open to new experiences than those who perform more routine jobs. They also tend to select intellectually engaging activities for their leisure pursuits, such as learning a language or investigating the history of their area.

What Is The Stockholm Syndrome?

Several years ago a woman was taken hostage during a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. In the course of her 131-hour captivity, she fell in love with one of the bank robbers. Although the woman's reaction was extreme, it has been observed in varying degrees in other hostage situations the world over. Thereafter, this response to captors has been dubbed the Stockholm syndrome.

Victims held captive by terrorists or other criminals know that at any moment during their ordeal they may be killed. Under the threat of death, then thoughts and feelings often take an irrational turn.

Hostages frequently develop a childlike trust in and dependence on those who terrorize them. By identifying with their captors, hostages assuage their feelings of isolation and helplessness. Studies show that the closer hostages feel to their captors, the less likely it is that they will be harmed. They come to view their captors as the "good guys." The people who try to liberate them without giving in to the captors' demands then become the enemy.

Once a hostage is released, it may take a few months for the acute effects of the syndrome to wear off. Psychologist Curt Toler notes: "Long-term follow-up studies show that this is a trauma that is there for life. It will poke its head up occasionally throughout a person's lifetime, when his or her resources are low."